I was looking forward to Guy 9 more so than other recent dates, I confided to GG this afternoon. The Hollywood rom-com backdrop: G9 and I actually briefly met at a New Year’s Eve party just a couple months ago. Emailing a few weeks ago, he told me he remembered me as the guy with the purple sweater (and a tie, I might add ) before I put 2 + 2 together …uhh …yes, he was the tall handsome guy who left right after midnight. Tonight I arrived just before 6 pm at our meeting place for a drink and waited by the host stand. G9 arrived a few minutes later and breezed right by to look for me in the bar – quickly striding after him, we met exactly halfway and shook hands. Very Nice. “About a 45 minute wait” was enough for us to head to another restaurant for a drink, where I somewhat boldly suggested we bypass the bar and get a room table. I wanted a full dinner date with G9.
Unlike G8 yesterday where we had specific things in common that kept us talking non-stop – essentially at a distance – about things other than ourselves, it was thrilling and new that G9 and I spoke in the nervous fits and starts, poking and prodding, grinning and glancing, pausing and interrupting, finding our iambic pentameter rhythm. Gosh, am I actually writing this schmaltz? Yep, I am. After a great meal, G9 started the obligatory, Oh I’ll pay, and of course I started to respond I’ll get next time – the not-so-subtle way in GayDatingWorld to strongly encourage a next date vs. typically going dutch – except, amusingly, G9 announced exactly what I just explained to you . Well now, must’ve been that second drink of confidence G9 was finishing up! As we strolled through the Loop afterwards, G9 said once again how dating is so unnerving for him, and I patted his back reassuringly that I had a great time. He put his arm around my shoulder for a moment. The snow was gently falling. And scene. Oh I know, I wanna throw up.
1) winking: just don’t do it. EMAIL
2) don’t email me for a second time, when I haven’t even responded to the first email, asking why I haven’t emailed and that the ball is in my court…what does that even mean? was there EVER a ball or a court?
3) IM’ing on match is awkward and unnecessary
4) bring mace, switch blades, brass knuckles, etc on dates….these people are still strangers
5) if you are living in Bartlett, you don’t get to say “I don’t like Chicago” without expecting a verbal dis, a beat down and the ultimate online no-no, DELETED. Good luck Mr. Bartlett
6) clearly I state on my profile “Chicago” as my hometown. If you live in Fond de Luc, WI why are you emailing and winking at me? really?
7) Men: when you go on a date, please make sure your nails are clipped. Enough said
8 Don’t call and not leave a message AND then follow it up with a text that says: VMS are sooooo 2001. It took me 10 minutes to realize VMS means voicemails.
9) I question why I a 41 year old man with no profile pic is still emailing me…you know who you are…STOP. Never going to happen
10) Really think about your screen name. This is the best one I’ve come across so far: YouHadMeAtHello
Yeah, well, that 3rd word is not really accurate. Its just a strong hunch. And I mean it in a “good” way. They say (well, I say) crazy, fun people are often…adequate lovers. But proper, humble guys are quite exciting in that department. Its not a hard and fast rule (no pun intended), just a correlation that is sometimes more on than off. Oh geez, here come the phone calls from my “crazy, fun” Ex’s who are reading this. And just to be clear, I never kiss and tell – not even to very close friends. But to myself on blogs? No problem. Seriously, that’s definitely as far as I’m going with that!
But yes, Guy 8 is humble and good-mannered (he’s “G9″ from this post). He arrived in a light wool Irish-looking coat, a newsboy hat, and a scarf tied in that fancy way. And we were at an Irish bar – how’s that for anonymity in Chicago? G8 is in a traditional loop industry, but he is also a prolific actor on the side so we talked and talked about that. We had some interesting commonalities that we simply …talked to death…I just couldn’t get myself to flirt or show any degree of romantic interest other than friends. I was even drinking! G8 is an example of good fit on paper, not really a romantic click in person. I want to be his niche theater friend that I give a hard time to about not having 1 iota of interest in the thrilling Olympic ski-cross on TV that I yelled at a couple times. But if you want to talk about icing – I’m totally bi. Love hockey and cupcakes.